I apologize: With my coworkers because it seems like I never care about them. They laugh all day long while the clients come and go and laugh with them. I stay in the corner doing what I have to do, but avoiding any human contact (as far as being a waitress let’s you). My colleagues call me “shy”. Inside I have so many funny jokes I want to tell, but none of them are fearless enough to get out of my mouth.
I apologize: with my family. They are far away and in this era of accessible communication it should be easy to keep in touch. They blame it on the work and university. Truth is, that I don’t want them to know. My mom has a special 6th sense and she would catch my irony on a second. So I just pretend I am too busy to call and she seems exited to know I am working so hard to achieve my dreams.
I apologize: to that special person. I know this is not easy for him either. Having fun and sweet days and then seen the love get away for no reason. I guess he feels like he is not enough, when he tries to make me laugh and treats me like a queen but the only thing that I want is total silence and solitude. I know he doesn’t understand. How could he? I don’t even understand myself.
I apologize: mainly to myself. For not being brave enough; For not being able to transform the bad days into sunny ones; For not appreciating the loving and caring people that surround me; For not following my dreams and for destroying the life I was creating with so much effort.
I am really sorry!